By Patricia Frank….
Many people have a difficult time handling certain disturbing situations. Unfortunately, they do not understand the dynamics of what is really happening so they usually respond in an inappropriate manner. Their coping style and lack of skills exacerbates and creates the very conditions that they are trying to avoid.
There is a sure-fire technique that you can learn and use to handle upsetting and threatening situations. These techniques short circuit the current state of affairs and prevent them from escalating. The more you practice them the more successful and capable you will become. You will be in control and you will not be a victim. You will experience peace and mastery in your life. The key techniques are to deflect, disarm and disengage.
When you Deflect something you divert it. You turn it aside from its normal course. You can learn to fend off any attack and avert it. You can cause the other person to deviate from their program and their planned actions. You can sidetrack any individual and they will veer off their agenda.
When you Disarm someone or something you take away their weapons. You disable them and you deprive them of their ability to harm or upset you. You declaw them and render them defenseless. You throw them off and incapacitate them. You do this by appeasing them verbally. You appear conciliatory. Your goal is to charm, appease, placate and mollify them. These techniques will diffuse almost every situation.
When you Disengage you remove yourself from the fray of the battle. You disconnect. You need to separate and detach your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Then you can unlock, untie, loosen and release their grip on you. You can extricate yourself and become disentangled in the incident. Remove yourself, get out and get away as soon as you can.
Free yourself psychologically. You can be in control of any event if you Deflect, Disarm and Disengage yourself. When you do you will be truly liberated.
Patricia Frank is a Licensed Psychotherapist. She can be reached at 305- 788-4864, 212-308-0309.