Gift behind the Gift

The final countdown has begun. Only a few more shopping days left to find the perfect gift. Of course, as they say, “It’s the thought that counts.” While this is very true, it is also true that it is the gift behind the gift that counts, as well. While you are shopping, focus on something that will tell the other person that you are interested in them and that you are paying attention to them; who they are and what they are. Celebrate their uniqueness. Support their dreams. Then focus on what you wish for each person and what you want them to have in their life.

If you can, try to avoid a random gift. However, a random gift is better than no gift at all. Remember, Gifts often define a relationship. “Little gifts maintain friendship and great gifts maintain love.”

The gift you receive from someone often gives you more than the item itself.

A beautiful evening bag may contain your friend’s wish that you have a wonderful party to attend so you can use it or a wonderful person to go out with. A new golf club may contain the wish that the person will improve their game and lower their score. Your loved one or friend is wishing something wonderful for you with their choice of gift.

Unfortunately, not everyone will see the wish or gift behind the gift. In those cases, it might be a good idea to include a brief note to explain your choice. Even if someone dislikes your gift, they will not dislike the thought behind it. The gift behind the gift is a gift in itself.

If you do dislike your gift, do not show it and do not say it. Never hurt the giver’s feelings or belittle their choice. Be sensitive and kind. Keep an open mind and an open heart and show appreciation to the giver and their intentions and efforts. Even Santa doesn’t always get it right.

Patricia Frank is a Licensed Psychotherapist. She can be reached at 305- 788-4864,

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