A famous philosopher, known for his wisdom and advice, said it very simply, “Know thyself.” Let’s add to that statement and say know thyself and know what you need and want and what will make you happy.
There are several techniques that you can use to learn more about yourself and your relationships. I created my “Postcard Technique”, to help you clarify your needs and desires and save you hours of introspection. This simple procedure will increase your fulfillment and satisfaction. It will help you eliminate painful mistakes and disappointments in your relationships. Buy some postcards and address each one to the various people in your life that you have a relationship with or wish to have a relationship with. Think about the message you want to write to that person. What do you want from them? “Dear so and so, Wish you were…” then insert the phrase that best describes what you want or need from them.
You do not have to mail the postcards. No one has to see them. They are to help you focus on what is important to you in that particular relationship. Your needs and wants may change over time especially as you grow and mature as a human being. So, don’t be afraid to write a new postcard at that time. Continue to monitor your wishes on your postcards. Relationships are not static and neither are you. What you might wish for at 20 is not the same as what you might wish for later on.
Another helpful technique is to write a postcard to yourself. The one to yourself should focus on your goals for yourself. It should use the same format, “Dear…I wish you were…” Hopefully, this postcard will change more frequently than the ones for your family friends and associates. Every time you achieve one of the goals that you have written, write a new postcard to yourself. Be sure you sign it, “Love” and your name. That’s very important.
Patricia Frank is a Licensed Psychotherapist. She can be reached at 305-788-4864.