Make Valentine’s Day Great Again

Cao

A certain disorientation has recently, suddenly appeared for which, something deeply meaningful may be the only cure. Valentine’s Day reminds us that love is the answer. In fact, love is all we need, love grows where my Rosemary goes, love is the opening door, love is gentle as a rose, love is in the air, and love, baby, makes the seesaws go up and down. Yes, love may be the answer we need to deal with questions like this: What has just happened?

Someone at the highly regarded Arsht Center may have dropped the ball when they failed to schedule Rick Astley on Valentine’s Day 2017. Instead, Mr. Astley will perform on Tuesday February 7th at 7:00pm. His big hit, “Never Gonna Give You Up,” has found its way into many an unwilling ear since dominating charts in 1987. Why everyone knows this tune is some sort of mystery, though some of its ubiquity is due to an early meme and prank dubbed rickrolling, where unsuspecting computer users received an unsolicited link to the song. 75 million listens later, rickrolling remains one of history’s greatest internet or cultural phenomena, up there with Beanie Babies, Nigerian email chain letters, the Harlem Shake, flash mobs, the Ice Bucket Challenge, Keep Calm and Carry On tee-shirts, and alternative facts.

Target of much derision since “Together Forever,” Astley has found critical acclaim from none other than Rolling Stone in this, his first tour since 1989. The venerable magazine says Astley’s new material evokes a younger, less predatory Tom Jones. Romantic right?Astley’s appearance, one week before Valentine’s Day, should not be the only lovey-dovey deal on the docket, but it may well be. Yes there is a SoulFlo Comedy Show at Silhouettes. Yes, there are spiked brunch, yacht parties, couples retreats, and the exquisitely circumlocutory Valentine’s Day Dinner at Santorini by Georgios @ the South Beach Hilton Bentley Hotel. Yes there is also speed dating at Fado, but if you hope to make an impression this year, strangely, it may not be easy.

Indeed, making Valentine’s Day great again this year is a tall task. Fine chocolate, once a sure winner, can be bought at Walgreen’s. All those dreaded trade agreements have insured a smooth flow of Godiva, Lindt, Toblerone, and Ferrero Rocher to every unglamorous shelf in the country. Poor old Russell Stover fighting all that immigrant chocolate! If though, you are still, truly, and irresistibly attracted to making a real impression on your sweetheart, Cao Chocolates is local, excellent, and has your back. Wendy’s in Perrine has been dealing to the Walter’s Coffee Shop/Golden Rule Seafood crowd since 1993. Actually, stone crab also works on Valentine’s Day; the Golden Rule has existed since 1969. I would not necessarily recommend Walter’s for Valentine’s Day dinner, though I strongly endorse them any other day of the year. Their breakfast is legendary, having scrambled eggs since 1976. Another possibility would be a jaw dropping dessert from Sweet Delights in Goulds. Located on US1 where Lee’s Key Lime Pies used to be, Miss Debbie is turning out a number of crazy delicious key lime combination confections with guava, passion fruit, soursop, and berries. Best bet for Valentine’s Day is their Love Cake.

Yet if your route to happiness must travel down the traditional dining out route, Alaine’s Osteria on Old Cutler and SW 168th will offer a special deal for lovers. Simply, everybody down south loves Alaine’s. If food for Cupid seems hackneyed and Rick Astley doesn’t cut it, try flowers. Old standby Tropicalia personalizes the experience. So does Hirni’s. So does an intersection near you.

These may seem like unusually turbulent times, so for anyone still craving a comforting prescription for Valentine’s Day, here is a concrete plan. First, make a reservation at Alaine’s after picking up some sweets at one of the previously named spots. Second, drive south in the late afternoon, park and take a romantic walk through the Farm Store and Marathon gas station parking lots past the Subway to the Bud Stop. Buy some flowers. Stroll around the corner past the entrance to the Deering and walk down the People’s Dock. From there, walk further south down Old Cutler to the Thalatta Estate. Propose and begin to plan your wedding. Then return to Alaine’s, enjoy dinner, go home, put on some Rick Astley, and imagine a bright future.


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