If you haven’t seen the video of the residents of a nursing home in Houston, TX sitting in waist-high water simply search “video of seniors in waist high water” in your browser.
School children were evacuated, families were evacuated and who was left behind — seniors. Two weeks later, in the aftermath of Irma, 14 seniors died from overheating in a Broward County nursing home.
If these seniors had been children, the outcry would have been much louder and punishment swifter. An excellent example is the most recent earthquake in Mexico. The school that fell down on top of 24 children and four adults had rescuers there in minutes with TV crews transmitting the entire search for more than three days. I fear that would not be the case if this had been a home where senior citizens lived.
It is this dichotomy that led me and my partners to found Parent Your Parents (PYP)(parentyourparents.com). How could anyone allow their “charge” to drown or die from overheating. Yes, these assisted living centers and Medicaid-funded nursing homes are negligent but isn’t that also the case for the families who left them there? Would they have ever done that to their children?
There is no criticism here — simply a look in the mirror. If your parents or grandparents are in one of these homes today the chances are excellent that you will be, as well. Yes, we can buy Long Term Care Insurance but today’s policies don’t cover you for the duration of your life. We are living longer and unless you have a minimum of $5 million there is a very good chance you will use all your money in the last five years of your life for healthcare.
As a child of an aging parent or loved one there comes a time and you must take charge. It isn’t easy and it wasn’t easy for them when you were a cute kid begging for a kitty and they said no. But, if it’s time, face it .
First, honestly assess where they are mentally and physically. Discuss options with your siblings and present a united front — just like your parents did when you were a child. You must have a Living Will, you must have a Power of Attorney — one for finance, one for medical. You must go to the doctor with them and make certain they are receiving the best medical care. The doctors must know that you are on top of their health. (I fired my parents doctor.)
Secondly — ask them what insurance they have — is it life insurance, supplemental health insurance, burial policy, Long Term Care, and, the most difficult question — what is their financial status?
None of this is easy but none of it takes financial acuity — it takes emotion, love, tenderness and hand holding. Remember when you were a kid and your parents took you through some of life’s trials with the same skills?
Disasters like Irma, Maria and earthquakes bring out the best and the worst. Now is the time to be the best.
H. Frances Reaves, Esq., a graduate of the University of Miami Law School, spent 10 years as a litigator/lobbyist. Today, she Is an accomplished business woman who, when her parents could no longer take care of themselves, learned the ins and outs of senior care (or the lack thereof). She founded Parent Your Parents to assist seniors and their children through the myriad pitfalls and options of “senior care” in the 21st Century. If you have any questions or comments contact Frances at hfrancesr@parentyourparents.com.
