Feeling guilty about what you eat — just wait

Which would you prefer?

Which would you prefer?

What good are all of these pills that I take every day? The one thing that I have noticed is that since I began taking most of them about 40 years ago, I have aged another 40 years.

Perhaps if I had followed my own advice and refused to take these pills, I would still be 40. No one wants to get older. The same might be said for all of these ridiculous new foods that supposedly will keep us alive even longer.

Now, be honest, does anyone really like kale? I for one don’t, not that I even actually know what it is other than the fact that it’s green and is used to fill up salad bowls. I saw something in the store the other day that featured Chia seeds and also available was this marvelous thing called quinoa. Frankly, folks, when I was being brought up as a child, no one had ever heard of, never mind eaten, any of these ridiculous foods.

Now we have this new thing called gluten. I have personally looked at many foods, most of which I like, and I have yet to see any gluten on or in any of them, so what is the big deal all about? It’s bad enough when humans are deprived of having foods that have carbohydrates, gluten, and all that other stuff on the ingredients list, but for heaven sake leave the animals alone.

Just the other day a neighbor, who shall remain nameless, prohibited me from giving a biscuit to her dog. Anyone who lives near me knows that I am the “biscuit guy” and every dog within several blocks of where I live knows that, if the front door is open or if I’m out there, that I have biscuits in my pocket. It’s something that I take great pride in.

Now I was being told not to give a biscuit to this neighbor’s beautiful dog because this dog only eats gluten-free biscuits. Is there such a thing? I imagine there must be, but do the dogs really care? I sincerely doubt it.

You are all now drinking soy milk. What in blazes is that? As far as I know milk comes from a cow, put into a bottle, you drink it and it tastes good. Why mess with orange juice; I love orange juice. I always did and I was always told that it was good for you because it was a natural fruit juice. Now we are being told that orange juice is the worst thing you can drink; it’s loaded with calories and preservatives and all that other junk.

Speaking of preservatives, frankly I have purchased various foods, mostly snacks, from the supermarket that say no preservatives added. Well that is too bad because it means in actuality that they will not last very long on your shelf. I have found a brand of donuts that do indeed have preservatives and they last virtually forever. Which would you rather have?

Artificial sweeteners were invented to reduce your intake of sugar. I bought into that and as a result used tons of artificial sweeteners in my beverages and now I find out those are really very bad for you.

What about butter. I love butter on a piece of fresh toast, preferably whole wheat. Now I learn that whole wheat is really bad for you because of the preservatives used to grow it, or whatever, and that butter is bad but not as bad as some of the artificial spreads using margarine. Do you feel my headache now?

My advice, based on all this, is to eat what you feel like eating, stop when you can’t fit any more into your stomach and when that happens go to the store and buy larger clothes. You will not only feel more comfortable, you will look better. It is certainly less stressful to do that than to try and lose weight by eliminating gluten.

I have learned one thing over the years — well maybe more than one — it is that if you wait long enough whatever is forbidden now will be highly endorsed later on. It seems a short while ago that we were all being told to not eat eggs because of the high cholesterol content. I have eaten literally thousands of eggs and have yet to see any cholesterol in or on any of them. Now you, of course, know that eggs are taken off the endangered list and we were allowed to eat all that we want.

The U.S. government just came up with some new guidelines for eating properly, one of which was that we should have at least eight 8-ounce cups of coffee every day if we want to extend our life. Just a short time ago I had several doctors tell me to stop drinking coffee altogether. My reply was I will keep searching for a new doctor.

Now what about meat? Our ancestors lived hundreds of thousands of years eating sliced wooly mammoth and that seemed to get along real well with their diets. None of them had homes in the country with tractors and farm hands to grow kale and all the other stuff that is supposedly good for them. Just imagine feeding tigers and lions an egg white omelet surrounded by kale? Talk about an endangered species, that would certainly put an end to them.

The other thing that has changed is as a child I was told not to eat chocolate because of the sugar content and what it might do to my teeth. I have seen just too many beautiful people with shiny white teeth who can go through a chocolate bar faster than I can and now the government says chocolate actually may be good for you. Yay for the government!

Visit my new website www.wheniwasyourage.xyz and see some videos of interest.

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