I probably would have no patience for any patients

Look over the menu before you get to the cashier.

Luckily, I am not a doctor. A lot of my friends are, but they have patients; I have absolutely no patience, at least not any longer.

I used to have some and would get upset with the person behind me at the red light who beeped at me because my foot did not react fast enough to step on the gas the instant the light turned green. Now I am the guy beeping!

Not because the guy or girl in front isn’t fast on the draw but because they are busy talking or texting on their cell phone. Those same people are in front of me in the passing lane (the left one for those who don’t know) cruising at 10 mph below the speed limit, oblivious to their surroundings.

I also have no patience in banks. I have been going to bank tellers for all my adult life and all I do is take money out or put money in. It takes me a minute or so and I am gone. What in blazes is the person in front of me doing that takes up all the teller’s time and usually involves getting another teller involved as well.

The few conversations that I happen to overhear sound like this: Teller: “I need two forms of identification to cash this check.”

Customer: “But the other girl always cashes them for me. Can’t you ask someone else?”

Another one:

Teller:“I’m sorry but there is no money in your account”

Customer: “But I just made a deposit last week. The other girl always lets me withdraw money”

I at first thought that there are language barriers but later learned from talking to various bank people that many people are just stupid and don’t understand what banks actually do.

On occasion I eat at fast food restaurants for two reasons: One, I am cheap, and two, I actually like the food there. The problem is that they are only fast food for the intelligent among us. As a superior intelligent person, I usually look at the big signs above the cashier, select what I want, i.e. half chicken with two sides and a drink, have my money ready to pay for my food and go sit down to eat. What is that person in front of me doing that requires 10 minutes of dialog? Why did they wait until they got to the cashier to begin looking at the menu board and how many questions are there to ask about a hamburger, fries and a drink?

Perhaps they need a special line for thinking people and another for the rest of the populace.

How about those people who have 23 items in the fast checkout line and then want to pay by check without a check card or photo ID, or as someone I know intimately does, spend time digging through their purse to come up with the exact change.

“I know I have 73 cents in here someplace… Just give me a minute.” Hey… It’s my minute and at my age I don’t have that many in reserve, so hurry up!

In restaurants, I manage to say, “Give me the number 12 special.”

Others close to me will say,” Have the onions browned well but not too well… remove the cheese from the salad and the skin from the chicken… I want my roll not toasted and with no butter and my fries not too fried, etc. etc.”

I can’t stand it! (But somehow I manage) OK, I will soon be opening my new practice in the new Cutler Bay Medical Center. Just ask for Doctor Sochin and tell them you are one of his new “patience.”

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