No, I am not pregnant! Good thing too because I, like most men, am a wuss when it comes to pain.
You see, I recently had surgery to release my carpal tunnel pressure. It is basically a simple procedure requiring outpatient surgery and you go home the same day. Of course you are given “pain pills’ in case you are uncomfortable.
I was given a prescription for Oxycontin. Why drug users love that stuff is beyond me. It damn near drove me nuts. I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking that I might stop breathing if I closed my eyes. Talk about anxiety!
Of course like most men I expected to get a lot of sympathy from my friends and family. Instead, as I whined about how uncomfortable I was, people asked, “How is your wife dealing with it?”
My wife? I was the one who had the surgery for cryin’ out loud! That held no sway with these folks. They kind of knew that my home nurse/wife would be the most inconvenienced.
Now I have had many surgeries: Hip replacement, meniscal tear in my knee, rotator cuff, plus the usual number of colonoscopies.
I thought that I was being pretty brave through all these, but I guess not to hear others tell it. Then the issue of pregnancy came up.
I am told that “I ain’t felt nothing yet” until I deliver a baby. Well I have had two children and so far have felt no pain. Of course I patiently waited in the visitor’s room until the doctor came and told me it was safe to go in there. What is the big deal? Of course seeing the actual baby and having an idea of where it came out of is something that I would rather not contemplate.
Of course modern science has come up with many remedies for pain. I have used Vicodin, like Dr. House uses on TV, and it was quite pleasurable! Of course if you read all the possible side effects — i.e. instant death, stroke, heart attack, loss of sexual desire etc., etc. — you would take absolutely nothing, ever again.
Example, I was recently told to add a blood thinner to my huge assortment of pills. I was given Predaxa, which you see advertised on TV all the time. It is usually followed by a commercial for a law firm advising you that they have had hundreds of claims by people dying from use of this drug. Great! I changed to another blood thinner that now requires frequent testing that can only be done in the doctor’s office.
My doctor friends tell me that if you read the warnings on just about anything, including aspirin, you would probably stop taking it.
Look at this! (I had to cut most of it just to fit into my column.)
Important safety information about Pradaxa: Pradaxa can cause bleeding which can be serious and sometimes lead to death. Don’t take Pradaxa if you currently have abnormal bleeding or if you have ever had an allergic reaction to it.
Your risk of bleeding with Pradaxa may be higher if you:
• are 75 years old or older; • have kidney problems;
• have stomach or intestine bleeding that is recent or keeps coming back or you have a stomach ulcer;
• take other medicines that increase your risk of bleeding, like aspirin products, non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) and blood thinners,and
• have kidney problems and take dronedarone (Multaq) or ketoconazole tablets (Nizoral)
Call your doctor or seek immediate medical care if you have any of the following signs or symptoms of bleeding:
The rest had to be cut to save space. This is what usually follows the Pradaxa add on TV “
According to recent disclosures by Boehringer, the maker of Pradaxa, several hundred patients already have died due to internal bleeding side effects while taking Pradaxa. Side effects include: cerebral hemorrhaging, internal bleeding and ulcers.
Call (fill in law firm) for help.” I hope you all feel better now! I don’t.