Okay, time for all of us to get rich!
I am introducing through this newspaper the latest and hottest thing on the market, the “Ernie Coin.” To begin, I will need all of you currently reading this article to begin mailing cash to me care of this newspaper. This will naturally increase the value of the Ernie Coin and allow you to resell what you have purchased at an even higher price.
What can be simpler? Besides, it does sound much more legitimate than a thing called “bit coin”
To find out how rich you are you will merely need to check the value of the Ernie Coin each day and see whether its value has gone up or down. If it has gone down, now is the time to buy lots more Ernie Coins. If it has gone up simply cash in and with that money by even more.
As you can see you will get richer and richer with each transaction. Don’t be dismayed by the fact that this value is only on paper.
Millions of people do this every day making and losing absolute fortunes, but in this case you are actually buying a product as opposed to investing in some business of which you know nothing about. Genius, huh?
I know, some of you are already saying, “there goes Ernie again.” It has been said before about others, but this is real! Just think, there is no risk of the product being devalued because it has no value to begin with, so what do you have to lose? What inspired me to begin offering Ernie Coins was driving around the many neighborhoods in South Florida looking at these magnificent four- and five-bedroom homes with incredible façades in front and the obligatory chandelier hanging just right so that, as you look through the front, it’s like looking into a palace.
I have often asked myself why can’t I live like that? I have certainly worked hard all my life, raised a nice family, limited extraneous expenses such as eating out. We do that only five or six days a week and save money on the other days. Makes sense doesn’t it?
If you coin collectors decide to hoard these coins, I can’t blame you. They may never appear again and as a result would be worth even more than the fictitious value they have today. Just think of it, it is almost foolproof.
Of course right now we are limiting sales to South Florida but I expect to expand to the Dominican Republic, Panama, and Haiti very soon, to be followed by all of Latin America and eventually Europe and the Far East, although I hear they are already working on a similar scheme.
I will need to employ a telephone staff to annoy and call people during their dinner hour and make this wonderful offer available to them. All you will need to do is get their address, phone number, Social Security number, bank account number, and all the various passwords to go with them.
Once we have this in place perhaps you will be my neighbor in my five-bedroom mansion in South Miami. I may even invite you to take a ride on my 100-foot yacht, but that will depend or how many Ernie Coins you have committed to and how many dollars you send to me to increase the value of the coins.
Honestly folks this sounds almost too good to be true, but coming from the mind of a great columnist and author, how bad could it be?
I am currently working on a new website which will allow you to mine Ernie Coins, whatever that means, but it must be good because lots of people are doing it already with bit coins.
Very seldom do any of us have an opportunity to be on the ground floor of something new and exciting. This is it! Send those dollars to me ASAP and watch the values rise.