There are so many things in life I don’t understand

There are so many things in life I don’t understand

Within five miles of my home there are over eight mattress stores.

I suppose that being a card-carrying elected official I should understand everything. Well with respect for our transparency laws, I must now admit that I don’t.

Let’s start with the recent Black Friday phenomena. I don’t get it! Why rush to buy stuff that is in great supply and will probably be discounted even more as the holiday approaches? Even if I were to be able to buy a 60-inch TV for the price of a 55-inch, would I be willing to set up a tent and camp out to be first in line? What will these people feel when the prices come down once more after the holiday?
I saw a lady on TV jumping with joy at being the first one to enter this big discount store. Perhaps she was waiting to use the ladies room. Other than that I don’t see the joy in that.

Here’s another. I like/hate technology as much as the next guy but somehow I do not find it demeaning to get my new iPhone a week after they first go on sale. What am I missing folks? I remember not long ago when people camped out overnight to buy Windows 95 when it was first introduced. I got my copy a whole week later and still have my original copy, I would be glad to start the bidding at $1,000. Be the first to make me an offer. It must be worth something if so many people were willing to stay up overnight to make a purchase.

Now explain this one. Within five miles of my home there are over eight mattress stores. One company, MattressFirm, brags of over 250 Florida locations, 34 in Dade County alone! Add to that all the furniture stores that also sell them and something seems weird. Maybe I am missing something but I only recall buying three or four mattresses in my entire lifetime, which is a pretty long time. How often do you buy a new one and why? If I didn’t know better, I would think they are all fronts for some illicit enterprise. Let’s hope that is not the case.

Driving: Unlike many of you, I have had occasion to try and merge with traffic in another lane. Unlike you, I indicate this by directional light and sometimes a hand signal. The response is usually a loud horn blast plus the accompanying finger, and pulling ahead of me. The driver, of course, will arrive at his or her destination one car length sooner, approximately 0.5 nanoseconds, which over a lifetime might add up to several precious minutes. Oh well!

I see the same behavior when I attempt to make a left turn after waiting for a break in traffic only to see a distant motorist speed up to allow them time for a horn blast at my nerve for temporarily invading their space.

Tattoos: I never really wanted any but having seen all the guys (and girls) at the gym that have them and the huge muscles that they have, I assume there is a connection. I spend as much time at the gym as anyone, have no muscles to speak of, so I assume that tattoos are what I am missing. I must convince my home trainer first.

Organic foods: Scientists have spent years providing us with foods that haven’t been bothered by insects and are so well preserved that you can buy glazed donuts that are weeks or months old without fear. Now people struggle for parking spaces to go to a store that has expensive food with none of these lifesaving preservatives, little taste and poor coloring. I just plain don’t get it.

What don’t you understand? Let me know at

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