Gables cops should ticket gas guzzlers parked in spaces reserved for fuel efficient cars

Gables cops should ticket gas guzzlers parked in spaces reserved for fuel efficient cars

Public Parking

When I find myself in times of trouble, I hope that Mother Mary will comfort me, speaking words of wisdom unlike, “I am mad as hell and don’t want to take it anymore.”

Recently, on my way to the Coral Gables Cinema, as I drove north, everything went south. On the ramp onward and upward toward a parking place so wisely and generously offered by City of Coral Gables Parking Department for highmileage vehicles (like my Prius), I was dismayed because none of the spaces were filled with high-mileage vehicles, only with late model Mercedes and Audis. Normally, I would ignore the indignity, but I found myself in times of trouble because this was hardly the first time I have been misled by the false promise of preferred/deserved parking.

I wondered why Coral Gables bothers to offer these spaces and how this can be seen as a gesture of progressiveness if no one ever enforces illegal parking. I mean, when they repaired the Venetian Pool, they followed through with water, didn’t they?

Then I went next door to the wonderful Coral Gables Art Cinema to see Wild Tales and thought how lucky the drivers of those cars selfishly hogging those spaces were not to have been parts of the plot.

Gables cops should ticket gas guzzlers parked in spaces reserved for fuel efficient cars

Eco Parking Sign

Wild Tales was the opening night extravaganza at this year’s Miami International Film Festival, to which even my ever-tightening relationship with Jessica Wade couldn’t get me a ticket. (No Chappelle, no Wild Tales – why am I doing this?) After several weeks in town, the afternoon showing I angrily trod into was full and the ideas in my head as I stomped out were wickedly vengeful.

Damián Szifron’s Academy Award nominee is a ferocious examination of greed, injustice, corruption and the desire/need to respond. Flight fury, road rage and prosperity privilege are three of six conflicts that escalate madly into hysterical stories that make nonsensical, illogical sense. Just thinking of getting back at those folks who parked illegally was beginning to inspire me. Then came the tale of the driver whose car is towed on his daughter’s birthday. Suddenly, I realized I was in over my head.

Several months ago, I pointed out the ubiquitous ugliness of signs with mismatched fonts in Palmetto Bay. Obviously, it isn’t sufficient that our entire nation ignores the red and yellow crosswalk advisors – sign makers insist that we disregard these as well. Then I dared to question a local media mastermind who misspelled graffiti and wrongly capitalized the titles of the characters in the production she was promoting, but you know – my mistake. Finally, last month, the money photo of Palmetto Bay spelled without one of the ts. I crave professionalism and vision.

Gables cops should ticket gas guzzlers parked in spaces reserved for fuel efficient cars

Wild Tales poster.

With due diligence, I have made known my disdain for the lack of backbone in enforcement follow-through and I have not disrespected those trained in the middle – “With whom do I have the pleasure of speaking today?” – who must handle customer service for organizations shielding their decision makers from customer wrath.

So my revenge will be to badger those who see public relations advantages in green washing; proudly posting devotion to the environment while neglecting to administer and do what Miami does best – tow illegally parked cars. So I say this to you now – eco-poaching parkers beware! the Pinecrest Tribune is on the case.

Carl Rachelson is a teacher at Palmer Trinity School and a regular contributor to the Pinecrest Tribune. He may be contacted by addressing email to crachelson@palmertrinity.org.


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