Expectations, Assumptions and Disappointments

When you feel let down it is often because you had expectations and made assumptions about your relationships and your situations, which is normal.

When you feel let down you have options about how you will react. You might get upset or angry. You might feel hurt. You might fume and seethe and declare, “It’s unfair” or condemn the person or persons involved. You might choose to confront the person or situation. Before you do, consider their possible reactions and your reaction to what they might say. It is possible to make matters worse. You run the risk of being hurt even more. Ask yourself if you want them to know that they hurt you, disappointed you or let you down. Then ask yourself what you hope to achieve. Do you want an apology or the promise that it won’t happen again? Or do you simply want to vent? Consider the fact that any confrontation can alter or perhaps end the relationship, the friendship, or the job.

When you feel let down, it usually means that you misjudged the nature of the relationship. You assumed that it was different than it was. It tells you that you had hopes and expectations and that you wanted something. If you did not want something from the person or the situation you would not feel let down or disappointed. It shows you your own needs.

When you feel let down you might be tempted to carry a grudge with all of the painful, negative feelings that go with it. A grudge is far too heavy to carry. It will only hurt the person carrying it. Realize that and let go of any resentment and bitterness you feel. A grudge will only exhaust you and sap your life force and joy.

It is better to examine and acknowledge your own needs. Find alternate ways to satisfy them. Alter your persona. You might find that you do not need to do anything about it at all.

Patricia Frank is a Licensed Psychotherapist. She can be reached at 305-788-4864.

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