Why do we pretend to be average-minded? Why do we feel compelled to represent ourselves as humble or meek? My thought is that we do these things out of the fear of being labeled as arrogant. We learn to hide our intelligence. We play dumb to avoid stepping on toes in certain situations. We grudgingly agree with others to avoid being outcast from our social circle. We don’t stand up for someone who is being treated unjustly to avoid becoming a target ourselves.
This goes as well as can be expected until we tire of the facade. We realize that the constant pretending brings stress as we always have to be careful about what we say and how others may interpret it. This becomes utterly exhausting. Instead of using our energy for something positive, we are expending it holding ourselves back. It’s like fighting for our lives against restraints we have put on ourselves. It makes no sense, but we do it EVERY day!
This mindset also causes us to seek out situations where we have the lowest IQ of any person in the room. Why? Because this allows us to be silent, listen to, and cast judgment towards others. We put ourselves in the position to assign the arrogant label to someone else, but never ourselves. Question…what is the penalty for offering insight and intelligence to those who are seeking guidance? Death? No.
Dismemberment? No. Exile? No. Oh, now I remember…there isn’t one! Although our minds are Steven Spielberg-caliber geniuses at creating worst possible scenarios. The truly depressing part is that this causes most people to avoid helping others rather than reaching out and facing the possible social stigma of being labeled arrogant.
To this I say: No more of this nonsense! No more hiding! Our coming out party is here…SURPRISE! Instead of going with the flow and playing our assigned “role” in a cookie cutter society, we need to be the exception to the rule. Seek empathy. Seek true connections. Seek vulnerability.
In the grand scheme of things, we are mere pinballs on the journey of life. We never know what new heights we may reach or when something will unexpectedly smack us down and we will have to start all over again. The great thing is that EVERY SINGLE PERSON can relate to this struggle. We should be using this shared struggle to connect with others using our emotional intelligence. This is how we discover our true selves and finally share our knowledge without fear.
So stop hiding, because I have found you! Seek to embrace your natural gifts and shine your radiant light on others who may currently be walking in the dark.
Charlie Miller is an entrepreneur, public speaker, and master basketball trainer. He has owned his business, ATTACK Basketball Academy, for six years and is passionate about mentoring the youth of today. You can contact him by email at charlie@attackbball.com.
