Irritable and Irritating

When you are irritable you are easily annoyed and you can become irritating to yourself and to others as well.

If you understand what is irritating you and why you are irritable, then you can change it. It is usually not just one thing. There are multiple thoughts and feelings that trigger your exasperation with an irritating situation.

An irritation can be anything that causes a delay or anything or anyone that frustrates and obstructs your goals be they immediate or long term. You resent being delayed or held up whether intentionally or not by another person or by the normal course of events. You feel angry and hostile. Your anger comes out of fear and the perceived threats to your well-being and your goals.

You feel insecure and powerless. You believe that your survival depends on the accomplishment of as many goals as possible, as quickly as possible. You are hyper tense and can’t relax. You suffer from the constant nagging fear of not being able to get enough done before you die.

You can’t tolerate any failure in yourself or others or even in life itself. This is intensified by feelings that you are missing out on life and on your social life so you have to squeeze the most out of every second. You feel the need to make up for lost time and to achieve as much as possible now in the moment.

The best way to handle these situations is to relax. If you don’t know how, then learn how to relax. Use self-talk to put things in perspective and work on your feelings of insecurity, fear, anger, and the pressure you put on yourself. Accept that it is not about getting it all done before you die because that is not a realistic goal. Don’t allow yourself to become infuriated about anything. Recognize how irritating you will be to others if you are irritable. It is self-destructive and self-defeating

Patricia Frank is a Licensed Psychotherapist. She can be reached at 305-788-4864,

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