|
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...
|
Tom, my husband, fell. He was trying to sit in his heavy, leather, “TV” chair and lost his balance.
The fall began as a stumble and ended in a staggered collapse. The chair and coffee table were knocked askew and he landed on his back, unhurt. I tried to pick him up, but couldn’t. I then asked him to get on all fours and use the nearby furniture for support to get up. He could not process how to rise. Luckily, our 18-year-old live-in was home and he came and assisted.
Tom sat down, started watching TV and promptly forgot what happened. (Dementia has its perks!) I, on the other hand, had a stark realization: I cannot lift my husband without assistance.
A recent Sunday, while hedonistically lollygagging in bed, I smelled a “burning” odor, not fire but a burned toast smell. I reluctantly arose, went into the living room and there was Tom, sitting in his favorite chair (described above) reading the paper. I asked him if he smelled burning. He said yes, and to keep the smell out, he’d closed the patio door.
I walked into the kitchen and the source of the odor was apparent, it was a pan, with three eggs burning on the stove. The water had been boiled out and the eggs and pan were slowly smoldering. And so it goes… slowly but surely more dementia signs appear. Tom forgets about it in minutes; I do not.
Tom’s treating physician suggested Tom see a neuropsychologist stating, “It was time for a baseline.”
Here is what happened: The doctor brought us both into his office and started asking very personal questions. Tom discussed his exercise protocol and admitted to a couple of cocktails a day. His major complaint was that he needed more mind exercises. The doctor then turned to me and asked, “What does he no longer do that he used to do?” I was extremely uncomfortable telling the truth in front of my husband. No matter what I said, or how I phrased it, Tom vehemently disagreed. I quit talking. I do not want to embarrass my husband, that is not our marriage behavior. A second doctor’s appointment followed later in the week (cardiologist) and the same thing happened. Again, Tom forgets, but I do not.
This is where our medical professionals show their ignorance and lack of compassion. When dementia rears its ugly head, insurance does not give these Advantage Plan doctors more than 15 minutes per patient so I must be a part of the “15.” It is very difficult to be “authentic” or “honest” when I am asked to discuss the signs of dementia in Tom. I feel awkward and self-conscious – like I’ve contributed in some way. Intellectually, I know that’s not the case, but there is emotional residue after these encounters. Tom forgets; I do not.
To see more #Miaminews from #Aventura to #Coralgables to #SouthMiami, #Pinecrest, #Palmetto Bay and #Cutler Bay and all throughout #Miamidadecounty go to:
www.communitynewspapers.com
