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What’s in a number? You’re as old as you feel! BUT, do we really internalize that? Turning seventy was huge for me! Instead of being grateful for living this long, I was demoralized by it. I preach that being older is a privilege, yet when the numbers applied to me I did not internalize them. I turned into a stereo type: I published a book, was on several television shows, quoted by Forbes and other magazines, had a book signing at Books & Books (with Teresa Rodriguez as my interviewer!) but did I really admit how lucky I was to be seventy?!? No, I was only viewing my accomplishments, just as I did at forty, fifty and sixty. Accomplishments are red herrings Internalizing your age takes introspection and acceptance.
January brought an epiphany – I am seventy, soon to be seventy-one and I am not in control of my life. The good news is I’m grateful that I am a participant in this journey! What am I doing with all this “wisdom,” I’ve acquired? One action I’ve recently taken is ridding myself of toxins in my life. That is no easy task… you will be judged and there is guilt. Why guilt, you ask? In my case, it’s because at my core, I’m the little insecure seventh or eighth grader who wanted to be loved by all the cool people. In my twenties, as I battled anorexia nervosa, I had a great therapist who motivated me to work hard to pivot my trajectory and I did. However, the little girl in me still wants to be popular like Glinda, the good witch and she ignores her instincts hoping they’re wrong. Not surprisingly, every time I compromised myself, I was let down.
Patience is another trait I’ve learned along the way. I do not have to be the hare to win the race. Turtles do just fine! I’ve learned to join those that are important to me on their timetable, not mine. In one case, it took six years, but we both made it. Another reminder, we cannot expect those we value to value us equally. Those who don’t have the fabulous experience that comes with being seventy, often don’t care about our opinion. I get it! I’m the first one to admit Mom and Dad were right. Patience allows us to wait it out.
Seventy also comes with introspection. I doubt I’ll live until I’m 140 years old. I am going to die… and it’s still a scary proposition. Am I doing everything I can to live my best life? I answer that question every day, and so should you. It’s not about what is right or wrong, it’s about what’s right or wrong for you.
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