In Florida, it’s better to be safe at any cost

In Florida, it’s better to be safe at any cost

In Florida, it’s better to be safe at any costThe Stand Your Ground Law in the state of Florida seems to be working. It has certainly changed my life. Let me explain.

Several weeks ago, on one of my rare visits to a movie theater, there was a (gentleman?) using his iPhone during the movie, which became quite distracting due to the brightness of his screen. Fortunately another moviegoer nearby shouted to him to please turn off his cell phone. I heard a slight grumble come back from the cell phone user and then he shut it off only to turn it on again a few minutes later and begin texting or whatever with his phone.

The other theatergoer finally shouted, “Don’t you know how to turn that thing off?”

Some very angry words came back from the user. At this point I thought I might become involved and ask this rude person to please shut off his cell phone. What stopped me? The fact that he might consider me a threat to his safety and blow me away with a concealed weapon. I sat through the rest of the movie without making a sound. Remember the popcorn incident and the “trained” former policeman?

I have changed my mannerisms in many other ways as well. I no longer beep my horn or extend my finger to someone who deliberately cuts me off in traffic or blasts his horn at me, or whatever. I don’t want to become a threat to them either. After all, once I become a threat I am fair game for any target shooting that this person might want to partake in.

I must thank the supporters of the Second Amendment, including Marion Hammer, their Florida spokesperson, for this wonderful new law. I am about to purchase my own handgun and even saw a holster in a catalog that would truly make it a concealed weapon and allow you to surprise virtually anyone with the fact that you are “carrying.”

This way I have the ability and the capability of shooting just about anyone who I might consider a threat. If anyone were to question me as to why I have armed myself, I need only reply that I am a member of a well regulated militia as allowed by the famous Second Amendment and I am merely doing what all good Americans are allowed to do.

To continue on this grand American tradition, l plan to send my grandkids off to school, each with their own box of Pop Tarts so they may chew them, into the shapes of guns. The Florida Legislature just made sure that teachers could not punish them for doing this. Oh BTW, kids who point their fingers as a gun are now protected as well. When they are ready for college, I will see that they are each given a Glock 17 or whatever is popular and deadly at that time that they may keep in their car while they are in class.

Another law passed by Florida legislators. Now that teachers are allowed to “carry,” I think all students should be armed as well. What if a teacher goes bonkers in class? Who protects the kids? Of course anyone planning to shoot up a school will know that teachers are armed and will likely plan to use a rapid fire automatic weapon and wear a bulletproof vest.

I have yet to set up a shooting range in my backyard, as I am also allowed to do, but I fear that my backyard neighbor who happens to be a policeman might also set up one and that might be problematic. I’m sure I will arrive at a solution once I have purchased a fully automatic machine gun, perhaps a 50-caliber model that would give me the upper hand.

You may think I would be crazy to do all this and you are probably right. My NRA friend tells me that there is no problem with this law because your bullets are not allowed to cross your lot into a neighbor’s. Whew! That makes me feel better.

If you wish to become part of this well-regulated militia, I suggest you contact the NRA and see what the requirements are. I believe that they call for you to be totally unregulated and willing to shoot to kill anyone who might pose a threat to you, your loved ones, or just about anyone you wish to protect. I am so proud to be a Floridian!

Ernie may be reached at See more articles at

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