Sour grapes: Google can make anyone appear to be a genius

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Miami's Community Newspapers

I am sure that there are many of you out there who wonder just how smart I can be and where I get all my information from. I don’t blame you though, I would be mystified myself.

The truth is: I heard it through the grapevine
Oh I’m just about to lose my mind
Honey honey yeah, I heard it through the Grapevine.

That used to be one of my favorite songs and perhaps still is until I began to look at it from a different point of view. I have been reading all of the election news in the newspapers and magazines, etc., and wonder just how anyone can grasp all the stuff that’s going on enough to make a logical and educated selection for a president and possibly many other major offices to be filled.

There was a time when kids in school were given an assignment and told to bring in a paper on it within a few days. This used to require a great deal of research, and reading as well as typing the report. I remember, as I guess many of you do, spending hours in the library, museums, schools, gathering all the information you need to make a decent presentation and hope for a good grade

Now, I don’t dare challenge any young person about his knowledge of anything because if I allow them even a few minutes with his iPhone, iPad or whatever, he will research the item and the much more knowledgeable on it than you, me, or anyone else working on the project.

People used to ask me how do I learn all the things that I write about and talk about. For a while I would simply tell them I spend a lot of time researching the subject. That, of course, means nothing now in the days of Google. Frankly I’m a little embarrassed sometime to tell people that Google is my prime source of information but it happens to be the truth. Of course I do gather a lot of information from people on the grapevine, but guess from where they are getting their information?

Things they are a changing and we had better get used to it. The only thing limiting my intelligence right now is my wife calling me to dinner or the thousands of problems that I seem to have with my various computers virtually all the time. When any part of my computer stops working, I picture a giant switch up in my head that somehow got shut off preventing any information from gathering there for future use. Oh, boy! Does that sound like fun?

This is my final ode to my computer:
I know a man ain’t supposed to cry
but these tears I can’t hold inside
losing you would end my life, you see
cause you mean that much to me,
you could’ve told me yourself that you love someone else
instead I heard it through the Grapevine not much longer would you be mine, oh…
Now I went to send an email
but I type as slow as a snail
how can I get my ideas across
when they are not my ideas to begin with
and I do not know a sharp from a flat.

The good thing is, that you probably don’t either,
so you have no choice but to believe my nonsense
until you get to Google yourself. Just think
the guy with the biggest computer, and the most memory, could well become the world’s next genius, or president for that matter.

All it takes is a new computer tiny bit of patience and a great deal of creativity and you could be making the fortunes that us in the newspaper business make every time we write a fantastic article. Like this one!


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