Dessert is my reward for finishing my meal

The end of Twinkies?

So New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg wants to limit sugary sodas to one 16- ounce can. What if I buy two cans?

Michelle Obama is on a mission to limit junk foods for kids. Walt Disney no longer will accept junk food ads. I have even heard (tell me it is not true) that Twinkies went bankrupt! Oh no!

Now you all know that I come from another generation, i.e. planet, where, if you finished your meal, which I always did, you could have desert. I still reward myself that way.

My home-based nutritionist always makes stupid remarks (to me) like, “How can you eat anything after finishing a full meal? How can you still be hungry?”

What does hunger have to do with it? I simply am rewarding myself for being a “good boy” and finishing my meal, whether it is breakfast, lunch or dinner.

I grew up in the greatest generation. We kids rode our bikes without helmets, walked to school, ran with scissors and ate whatever we damned well wanted. The only thing that might curtail our eating was our older brothers and sisters who got to the snacks first. My sister, bless her heart, used to eat the frosting off of the Drakes Cake cupcakes and leave the rest for me. Gee, thanks Elly.

I did do some research on the subject of obesity, and learned that the Bovine species actually have as many as four stomachs — Rumen, Reticulum, Omasum and Abomasum to be specific. My own theory is that one of them is for deserts. More research is underway. Perhaps humans were intended to be that way.

I have a couple of grandkids who are being raised on a diet of organic, fat free, sugar free, artificial flavor free, high fructose corn syrup free, taste free foods. Whenever they come to my house they head immediately for the Pop Tarts. Popsicles, meringue cookies and whatever else fulfills their cravings for a normal diet. They both seem healthy and able to survive. As for myself, yes, I must go to the “portly” section of Syms clothing store and I could stand to lose a few pounds. The main cause, and this is just my theory, is that the foreign fabrics that our clothes are made of tend to shrink with all this humidity and the only solution seems to be buying new and larger sizes. Belts too, seem to have this same propensity. It must be the artificial leather.

As for the childhood obesity kids, I was not one of those. The reason: I, like most kids of my generation, played outside. That was all there was to do. We ran, jumped, rode our bikes and burned off calories by the thousands. I don’t see this type of activity in our kids today. I hear they no longer have Phys-Ed in schools. That was one of my better subjects, by the way.

As for today, I continue to eat as my mother taught me, but frankly, if I didn’t play tennis at least twice a week, ride my bike for many miles, and spend many hours at the gym, I would probably not fit through the doors in my house. My doctors of course tell me to cut out sweets, carbohydrates, etc. I may just seek out a fat doctor.

It seems that everything I touch has carbohydrates in it. What am I supposed to do with the bread and rolls that the waitress brings before my meal? Send it back, while there are thousands of children starving somewhere in the world? (It used to be Europe when I was a kid.)

Occasionally at the gym, I jokingly remark that I will be going home to eat some Oreo Cookies. My advice: Don’t do that at the gym. Some people there are very serious and have bottles of all kinds of chemical substitutes for real food. They will try to convert you. I suggest you stay away from them,

Don’t Worry. Be Happy. And eat whatever you want!

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