Is it a hallucination, or just a dream?

Is it a hallucination, or just a dream?
Is it a hallucination, or just a dream?
It’s scary.

Okay, so you are getting older. So am I, and it becomes more obvious every single day.

It does help when I talk to others of my same generation (80 years plus). Although I still wonder whether that thing at the top of my head, called a hippocampus, has anything in it.

Not long ago after a brief visit to my neurologist where a whole raft of x-rays and other examinations took place, as my spouse and I were sitting down getting the doctor’s evaluation, he very simply explained that “there is nothing there!”

My wife, of course, immediately agreed and told him that she had been telling me that for years and perhaps she has.

Now the interesting part: We all, I assume, have dreams, some of them more interesting than others, some totally depressing but we all have them. I certainly do, and some of them I must tell you were rather exciting including my trip into space, plus many others that might embarrass some people if I were to describe them.

I recently began having what I thought were dreams but, according to my psychologist, were actually hallucinations. No one told me this while they were occurring so I just accepted them as a normal part of my aging.

Let me tell you about some of the recent ones. One evening, I awoke (?) to find a Volkswagen parked in my bedroom. Oh well, doesn’t everyone? Of course the Volkswagen needed gas so I immediately went to the headboard on my bed and tried to insert a credit card into the credit card slot next to the gas dispenser. Of course none of these exists and when I woke up I was quick to realize that and the Volkswagen went on its way.

Not long after that I awoke to find my grandson tucked into bed with me which he hadn’t done in some time.

Of course when I asked him about it the next morning his answer was “papa, you must have been imagining it.” The next night my daughter was standing next to my bed chatting with me, an unusual thing for her to do. When I asked her about our conversation, I got that strange look and the “papa” comment.

My psychologist told me not to worry about these strange happenings unless, of course, they happen when I am awake. For example should I walk into the kitchen and find a bunch of people chatting in there that weren’t really there. This becomes another matter and might even be a sign of early Alzheimer’s. What else is new?

Not long ago I had some surgery which required my being under anesthesia. This was fine for me as I felt nothing until I awoke to find my wife sitting next to me reading a magazine instead of getting ready to go out to dinner as I thought we were supposed to be doing that evening.

When I got angry with her for being so dismissive of our plans she reminded me that I was lying in a hospital bed under anesthesia and had no idea of what was going on. To prove it I used language in the hospital that I would hardly ever use in public and, of course, the nurses had a great vision of what their former vice mayor was like while under anesthesia.

The doctor had a simple explanation for it. “Hospital Psychosis.” Oh great, now I have still another reason to be considered nuts.

Last night, I was awakened by a phone call from a man I had worked for perhaps 40 to 50 years ago and who I am not sure is alive today, asking me to to make sure that I was dressed and ready to go to an important meeting that he had scheduled that day. The problem was:
1: I had no idea where the meeting was, and
2: I wasn’t even sure of where I was nor how to get to where the meeting was.

Other than that I was very well organized and ready to go. Of course the room I was in did not look at all familiar because it was actually my bedroom and not a far away hotel. Oh, well! G’night all!


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