We are often our biggest critics. I’m sure we have all heard this saying before and if we stop to think about it, we can probably think of a way we see ourselves as inadequate in less than five seconds. I am a huge proponent of lifelong learning and know that there are always ways we can improve.
The roadblocks to our improvement journey enter when we say we will accept and love ourselves when we change XYZ. When we get over our alcohol addiction. When our new business becomes profitable. When we enter into a loving relationship. At first glance this seems to make sense; we don’t want to identify with a part of us that seems less than desirable.
However, I am here to flip this theory on its head!
What if we love and accept all of ourselves? Not just the parts we like, but all the parts. We are made of various parts, but our parts make up a whole and this whole person is who we are. Right now, I want you to write a list of all the things that are hard for you to love about yourself. Now that you have made the list, take the time to go through and love each one of those qualities and characteristics.
Truly take the time to send yourself love around each of those areas. If we are not able to love all the parts of ourselves, how can we ever expect to move forward as a whole person into the world? We can’t! And then we wonder why we attract other incomplete people. On the flip side, when we love ourselves unconditionally for all our attributes, flaws, addictions, and strengths we will attract people that love all these things about themselves too. Now, instead of two incomplete people coming together to try and complete each other (which doesn’t work), you have two complete people who can come together to impact the world.
Loving ourselves for where we are in the present moment allows us to take responsibility for our situation. And most importantly, see our current situation in a positive light vs casting shame or blame on ourselves. How freeing! We don’t have to be perfect to love ourselves. Our imperfections are part of who we are too.
The funny thing is that as soon as we lovingly accept these “negative” parts of ourselves, they begin to fade away. They no longer have power over us, so we are able to move past them. As Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” So, love on yourself!
Charlie Miller is an entrepreneur, public speaker, and master basketball trainer. He has owned his business, ATTACK Basketball Academy for 7 years and is passionate about mentoring the youth of today. You can contact him by email at charlie@attackbball.com.
