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No matter where we turn in our day-to-day lives, we run up against limits. If we open a package of cereal for breakfast and each family member has a serving, there’s less in the box when the meal is over. When we fill our gas tank on Sunday afternoon and then commute for the next five days, the gauge reminds us it’s time to fill up again. If we write checks on our bank account without a regular influx of income, we will eventually run out of money.
Much of our lives run on this kind of scarcity model—the goods and services we value come in limited supply, and they run out when consumed. As a result, life can become an anxious race to amass whatever it is we feel we need—whether money, creature comforts or something else—because if we don’t, we risk not having enough. Indeed, it’s easy to fall into the trap of measuring ourselves and our value by our ability to acquire, as contemporary culture pays great attention to those people who seem to have all the finite goods they want, when they want them.
February is a great month during which to set aside this frenzy and contemplate something that expands, rather than contracts, with use. To be precise, however, this something is not…a thing. Rather, it is the gift of love. Genuine, selfless love finds joy in being in relationship with another. It doesn’t ask the question what can I get from this; it focuses on what it can give. We might think that in giving away love, it would somehow run out…but the amazing thing is, it doesn’t.
Rather, it grows as it revels in being a source of support and comfort to others. And as we become better able to see goodness in people, why, loving them more fully becomes its own reward. We find ourselves becoming more understanding, and more compassionate.
We find love being returned. We are compelled to invest more deeply and expand our loving attitude to include not just people closest to us, but others beyond our immediate circle that are in need of care and concern.
Love shared becomes love…squared. What a joy it is to live not with a feeling of scarcity, but rather, of abundance. As we celebrate love in this month of valentines, let’s work together to increase the supply of love in our community, country and world. Use it, share it, and watch it grow.
Kathryn Carroll offers one-on-one coaching, listening and support for individuals facing transitions and dilemmas. She also offers workshops and retreats on a variety of life issues.
Learn more by visiting www.conversationswithkatie.org or emailing her at conversationswithkatie@gmail.com
