From Mar. 6 to Apr. 8 of this year, I experienced five deaths of people I consider part of my life.
Two were wonderful, with whom who I had the pleasure of sharing some time, and three were dear friends. All were under the age of 75. Only one of these deaths was from cancer; the other four were unexpected and left families and friends reeling.
There is, in my humble opinion, only one way to conquer death — live a good life. Perhaps my previous columns have been too obtuse, so let me make it clear — you must preplan to age gracefully and comfortably. We all have different needs and it is your needs that must be met. It seems that as we age we view ourselves as less relevant, but are we really?
When people talk about living a good life they discuss “paying it forward,” or being kind to your neighbors, or creating world peace in your environ-ment. I’m pragmatic, therefore I view living a good life as being relevant and keeping my mind and body healthy.
How do we do that? Easily, we plan. Once we begin using medcare I suggest we begin to plan for our last years — which in today’s world is 80-100. The longer you live, the longer you will live. But, and it is a big but, we want to live it well, and that means having to deal with the senior care/elder care bureaucracy.
I have a plethora of columns discussing how “institutions” are obstacles, not cheerleaders. Why? Because “seniors” are not valued and easy tar-gets. The exact opposite is the real truth; we vote, we pay taxes, our chil-dren are the current workforce and we have experience.
To that end, how do we stay relevant? It’s easy — preplan! Whether you have parents or a partner who is older, you have to discuss how to stay healthy, both mentally and physically. Some of the mental health is dependent on financial health. What insurance policies are available? How many financial accounts are there? Does the home and financial accounts transfer without going through probate? These are difficult conversations but once done provide true peace of mind.
So, i urge you to look at the non-medical side of your life and begin to ask yourself, your partner or your parents the tough questions then find the solutions so that we can all “Viva la vida buena.”
To recap: Are the financial instruments in order? Are the legal documents in order? Is your house “too much;” does it need de-cluttering or should you move? Are you, your partner/spouse or parents healthy? Are you having fun?
Frances Reaves, Esq., a graduate of the University of Miami Law School, spent 10 years as a litigator/lobbyist. Today, she Is an accomplished business woman who, when her parents could no longer take care of themselves, learned the ins and outs of senior care (or the lack thereof). She founded Parent Your Parents to assist seniors and their children through the myriad pitfalls and options of “senior care” in the 21st Century. If you have any questions or comments contact Frances at hfrancesr@parentyourparents.com.
