I don’t know about you but whenever I am invited to a birthday party involving a cake and candles I tend to worry about what might happen should one of the candles fall over and possibly start a fire.
Would I set fireworks off inside my house? Are you kidding? What if I had a rock band and thought I could get a little more attention by setting off fireworks on the stage in a closed auditorium with only one exit door?
Apparently that is a new fad that I frankly don’t understand. Perhaps my 7-year-old granddaughter Natalie was right when she recently said to me, “Papa, let me tell you something in confidence. You are very old!”
How come Tommy Dorsey, Glenn Miller, Harry James, the Doors, the Beatles, Creedence Clearwater, Aerosmith and many other groups seemed to do perfectly well without setting off indoor fireworks as part of their performance? But what do I know?
Billy Eckstein, Ella Fitzgerald, Billy Holiday, Nat King Cole, Louis Armstrong and many others did not have to gain street-cred to sell their records. Somehow they managed to survive pretty well. What is going on when you must prove that you are some type of gangster or criminal to gain credibility in the hip-hop music era?
You all read recently where a local rapper allegedly staged a shooting to gain credibility in the Rap Music field. Of course the above mentioned all had great voices and a talent for delivering music the way people wanted to hear it but who really needs a voice anymore?
Maybe they did do it, but I doubt that Frank Sinatra, Barbara Streisand, Tony Bennett or any of that group used lip syncing to get their songs across. I know that times are changing and that songs like How Much Is That Doggie in the Window or Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo would not be big sellers today but at least I could identify with those songs. (BTW, I still don’t have a dog, but I am l working on it.)
I have always been curious about what those rap singers were really saying. My old ears don’t adjust so well so I went online and looked them up. I still have no idea what they are actually saying but I do know that there are a lot of nasty words including the “N” word in almost every other line. Look it up for yourself and see what you make of it. Whatever they are saying they are making more money than I get, even writing for Cutler Bay News… Really!
In an effort to convince my grandchildren and myself that I am still with it I’ve decided to write my own rap song so here goes. You will have to provide your own background sounds but try this on for size.
Boom chicka boom boom chicka
“I’d love to sing for you
but I don’t got no voice
but if you buy my records
I can get me a Rolls Royce
I don’t have street-cred
and haven’t been in jail
I’m just a good old
red blooded American male
I eat early each night
so I can catch that early bird
So what if you young folks
be thinkin’ I’m absurd
At least I’m savin’ my hard earned dough
So I’ll be tellin’ you soon
“I told you so!”
Boom chicka boom boom chicka boom
I am already working on my latest dance craze called So-Chin style. Videos should be available in the very near future, depending on the fitness of my knees. Of course I will need a rap name. How about Super So-Chin or Scoop Dog or 6Pac? I am open to suggestions but please be nice!
Send your suggestions to email@example.com